Breakable

The past week had been eventful, pretty much undesirable events.

Only bore feelings of how

life was.

Shed tears like i've never shed any before.

But im still growing and all these are my vitamins.

Im still here,

still standing,

still breathing,

still smiling,

still going on.

Appreciation

is so oral, it hangs only on your lips until you swallow a bitter vitamin.

Im still green and learning.

Praying too.

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face

You told me how proud you were but I walked away

If only I knew what I know today

I would hold you in my arms

I would take the pain away

Thank you for all you've done

Forgive all your mistakes

There's nothing I wouldn't do

To hear your voice again

Sometimes I want to call you

but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself by hurting you

Someday I feel broke inside but I won't admit

Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss

You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?

Would you help me understand?

Are you looking down upon me?

Are you proud of who I am?

There's nothing I want to do

To have just one more chance

To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything

I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself

If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much thatI've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous

It's so I'm afraid to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do

And I've hurt myself

By hurting you

How relatable

Keep on Walking

Many things have been going on lately and its not going down the smooth path. Everything's so rocky and bumpy i just want to take the red light. I dont want to walk anymore. Im sick of walking.

I want to fly

But flying away will only be an act of denial....the issue will still be beneath my feet and ill have to land one day.

And life's about giving more when you feel like giving up. Legs are meant for walking and it'll always be.

When we're tired it always helps to stop and take a deep breath.

Walking can be fun if we learn to walk in the right path.

So just keep on going. When you reach a junction, try taking a turn. Its taking chances, and you never know if you'll end up on a perfect lane.

Smoky Valentines

I made it through Feb 14





extra special this year =)





Love or rather racism was in the air.





Zoe and I head off to Muzium Shah Alam to attend some anti-smoking talk.





The place was infested with Malays...





Blame me for being racist but their "jungle" act was really provocative....Go live on a Tualang tree you bunch o' barbarians.





You guys stink too!





So f*** off.





I did not receive a whole lot of gifts this year, a miserable packet of candies and a pair of locks.(are they from you, Violet).





Nvm, i dont give two hoots abt it.





My blog is experiencing drought these days, sorry for the dry posts, i swear i hate them myself. When i get my new phone, ill try to make them as interesting as possible with cool pics.......of ME! Haha, just kidding! Just cross your fingers that that w850i will be mine soon.








Basically thats all about it, life's been rather dull nowadays and it revolves around school. Voila!

PUFF YOUR WAY TO THE GRAVE!

Faces

More is often misinterpreted.

Its about becoming something more without leaving others behind.

I will always love you regardless how much more you emanate.

One thing about life is dont leave the things behind you know you'll cry over once you realised how much you're missing.

Tagged!

Thanks for tagging, Violet

6 weird things about me?


1)Im analytical towards everything.

2)I have to tune in to channel 61 everyday.

3)I love and hate GREEN at the same time.

4)Love novels are crappy but I like them =D

5)I have family planning at this age.......(dont ask, my imaginations run wild)

6)I hate hypocrytes but im constantly hypocrictical. =/


The bottom line is,

I weird in a good way

I tag,

i)Samantha Low
ii)Siow Ee Lin
iii)Xiannie
iv)Sis
v)Stefanie
vi)Kenny Sia =D

Enviously Green

Im finding myself more and more fond of the colour GREEN day after day.

Courtesy of Wikipedia,

here are some facts about GREEN

-Green is commonly referred to as the "sexy color" by fashion magazines(oOo)

-In the Middle Ages, green represented evil or demonic beings (including dragons) and sometimes love. Due to its connection to springtime and nature, green is also traditionally connected to hope and renewal (mostly in countries traditionally experiencing long winters).

-In ancient China, green was the symbol of East and Wood, one of the main five colors

-The emotion of envy is traditionally associated with the color green.

-"Being Green" can either mean someone who is new or someone who is overwhelmed and prone to desertion.

-Aliens (of the extraterrestrial variety) are sometimes referred to as "little green men".

-Green is one of the Christmas colors, usually with red and sometimes also with white.

-The color green is often used as a symbol of sickness. Cartoons often show a character as being sick with a green face

-Marijuana is often referred to as "Green" when trying to be disguised in discussion. Also often referred to as "Green Paint."

-In high schools in the United States during the 1960s, it was widely believed that if someone wore green on Thursdays, it meant that they were gay. [2]

-An inexperienced person is sometimes known as green, probably by analogy to unripe (i.e. unready, immature) fruit. The word greenhorn also refers to an inexperienced person


GREEN it up!

p/s: Hey Amanda, thanks a bunch for that Mini Ritz biscuits. Haha.

Realising But Not Knowing

Im a mixed of emotions lately.

24 hours Aint Much

Im lacking O2!

Schedule has been really tight like a Victorian woman wrapped in a corset.Ouch!

Take for example Wednesday. Friday the 13th isnt the bad omen anymore.Its Wednesday the 17th. Just remembering the day gives me goosebumps.

Sorry, im not your regular i can handle a lot of stress dude.Waking up at 6am and worked the gray matter until 1.40pm aint easy. Right after that was brainstorming in Interact meeting. After meeting was struggling my way through Add Maths and finally Mod Maths tuition till 10pm. Ahah, thats not all, no sleep after working the poor brain for 12 hours+.....there are 14 pages of History to digest. Great, easy comes easy goes. Forget bout that.

I havent been talking to myself much lately.Probably because i dont let my mind wander aimlessly since school,tuitions, co-curricular activities are spinning the needle of the clock real fast. But i found a solution when im feeling down and pissy, just look at Amanda and gone is your stress. Laughter is the best medicine, there's no deny. Seeing Amanda laugh almost everyday induces some therapeutic and relaxing effect knowing that things are still cool.

So, I Sayang Amanda!

As so Violet claims, the person whom we label bad isnt really bad. I dont think anyone is really bad in our generation. I think the more suitable term for it would be insecurity and it all comes down to which angle we are viewing the person from. First impressions forms the other picture of the person and if we dont proceed to getting to know the person, that'll be the image you're gonna keepsake. We go to conclusions that the person isnt really bad,as a matter of fact more pity-able once things advance.But the person is pity-able in the very beginning but thats what we dont see because the point of view isnt from a friend's point of view.

*yawns*, sleep isnt what i cherished during the dreadfully boring holidays but now


Im on my knees and plead for more of it.


p/s: spread your love by supporting the upcoming Interact Valentine's Sales, its a whole lot of work.
pp/s: i dont want to realise things that dont need to be realised.

signed off,
leginhet

Graditude

I aging day after day and after Friday,12th Jan(to those who forgot =]), i was another year older. Sweet sixteen? Nah, whats so sweet bout 16 anyway? I can make 17,18,21 and years to come sweeter.

It was like every other ordinary day that i woke up groggily from bed with messily ruffled hair(i like). Somehow on that particular day, I felt more alive than usual. I know there are surprises ahead in school*smiles sinisterly*

Oh and before i forgot, thanks to Soo Ern and Violet for their "punctual" wish at 12am. So I went to school and people wished me, its weird to be in the centre of attention since i dont usually get them and dont really want to.Im a low profile guy, keep things simple.

The recess bell rang and still no surprises, Darn it!Haha, just kidding. The canteen was filled with people as usual and friends came one after another with weird wishes. "Can I hug you?"............Uh,okay =). The only teacher that wished me was Pn Monica,personally my favourite teacher and friend.

Went back to class after recess and then came Violet hoping merrily, seemed ecstasised and even more ecstasised than I am. She passed a plastic bag of 1 ringgit notes and an envelope.
I was suppose to count the exact amount before opening the envelope.RM47 if i counted right.
47 people parted with lunch for me?Aww,thats sweet.Zhao Wen asked if i was touched and tear jerked, sorry to say, no. It takes much more than that. =)

So, here's my thank you list, sorry i cant approach you guys one by one to express my graditude.

1)Violet-I love you too!
2)Zhao Wen-I love you more than he does, haha.
3)Neal-You're like the santa of smiles and laughter.
4)Joanne-I miss you too, although you're just at the other block.
5)Zoe-I love you much!
6)Amanda-I sayang Amanda!(P/s: I really loved your msg,its so amanda-ish,and i love amanda-ish stuff)
7)Soo Ern-Yes, you're the first.Smiles!
8)Grace Hew-All the best to you too.
9)Rui Sheng-Was it you who wrote the superbly long msg?THANKSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
10)Dinie-We dont talk much?Haha, approach me, you're the extrovert.
11)Simone-You have a great year too.
12)Guet Cheng-I'll have as much fun as you have in school.Do i look sad anyway?
13)Ee Lin-I'll let you in on a secret, i always looked forward to talk to you for some reason.
14)The New Fella-I still cant remember your name!You should've wrote it in the card!
15)Tze Yeen-Some way to wish a bday boy eh?
16)Kah Meng-We only spent a week in the same class, lol!
17)Elaine-You looked different, definitely much prettier too. =)
18)Leanne-Honestly i was expecting a thesis type wish from this genius.Haha.nt16+bday12=hApPy07?
19)Audrey Ng-Thank you so much.
20)Xiannie and Stefanie-Thanks so much for remembering and I miss those times we had in the library.
21)Sacha,Eugene,Nicole Tan,Yen Wei,Kenneth Tan,Michelle,Pei Fang,Zoe Liew,Adelene,Ka Mun,Zhee En,Yu Jin,Zhuxiao,Serene,Jin Howe,Boyce,En Kane,Kai Shen,Michelle Tew,Qing Lin,Audrey Sng,Brian.

Long list i've this year, sorry if i missed anyone out,you're still deeply appreciated. Im introverted if i dont know you well so my apologies if i dont laugh and kid around with you.But you guys can always come up to me. The present was unique, i'll definitely remember my bday 0n 2007. I'll get a red ribbon and tie the stack of rm1 and place it in a cute little box.
Sorry I dont have enough Strawberry Yoghurt Mousse Cake to share. Mr Stomach down there just cant resist a slice a day. =)

lotsa love emanating,
legin het

Reasons, Unreasonably Unreasonable

Well, i thought 2007 was off to a good start. First week of school was dreadful, some "organism" living in it have been satisfying his sadistic addiction towards partly innocent people.

Approximately 2 months of being nice was too much for that "organism". He's not gonna get a gift from santa any time soon. Yes, he's not nice but no he's not naughty. He is unreasonably evil!

Some people just wanna breathe calmly in school undisturbed by howls of organisms merely thinking the dictator way. Hypocrytes, you got that all wrong if you said we've a chance to correct things nicely. Some "organisms" would invent a thousand and one reasons UNREASONABLY just to get back at you.

No, im not being defensive. You might think of me as the typical high school lad that defends himself although he knows very well what he did. But, boldly i'd say, Im not. I remain firm with what i am and what i am is nothing wrong. I want to be mad at the "organisms" but its too energy consuming.

Don't make learning from mistakes an obligation. You can take an M16 rifle or whatsoever and tutor that individual with it but its not learning, its making them learn. Sounds similar but vastly different. There's no deny that you've to be strict to enforce things but that doesnt mean you cannot show some love and sincerity at the same time. Words can be a little softer for the weak human ear and heart.When people accept, they learn. You stand for what you believe in so do I. School was suppose to be safe from predators, what if the predator was inside. Sometimes i feel like im playing a game of hide and seek whereas im the mouse and the "organism" is a cat. No, i dont go to school to play kiddy games with "organisms", i just wanna enjoy my my teenage life and fill my life's jigsaw puzzle. The jigsaw was suppose to be a beautiful picture, but the presence of "organisms" are like haze to a wide green meadow with tulips. Piece by piece is tarnished.

I know I have nothing in my power to change anything for now. But Im a firm believer in Karma and one fine fine day, the "organism" is going to pay a hefty price. The "organism" does things so personal and i dare say i know it when things get personal. What goes around comes around. What goes up, must come down. You're at the peak now but life is a wheel, no one remains at the top forever, there are circles ups and downs. You think you're superior, there's always something greater than you. And that something greater must have been fair to the people by not blessing you with offsprings. Be nice, it'll come back to you one day. Spread happiness, you'll be the happier person yourself. You might like the way your life runs now but it'll come across a turning point one day. For the last time, i honestly said I tried not being mad at the "organism" for doing his job, but never cross the yellow line. Your patience has its limits so does mine. Usually my yellow line is far enough to avoid being crossed, but the "organism" chose the perfect mode of transport to cross it, a bullet train,quick and easy, and it came crashing through my life.
Great respect is for those who deserves it, and at the moment, you're not getting any. Changing the way things are is difficult but not impossible. It's because you never intended to change anything. Just because your life might be miserable in the past, it doesnt mean mine has to go through what you've been through. You never earned the right to take other peoples' rights. My happiness is hard earned and i deserve it because i dont pick on people. I just want to breathe!

"A great person is a person who makes other people feel great"

leginhet

Its All About Togetherness

Phew, back from Port Dickson after spending 3 magnificent days there. Its a remedy to treat my boredom during the holidays.

Lets see, we were late on the first day so nothing fancy to add. But the food grandma cooked up were orgasmic. We had "nasi kunyit with curry" and "popiah". Yumm!

Day 2 was a lil more eventful. Woke up at 9.30am which was miraculous considering the fact that i became a nocturnal creature during the holidays and only rise at noon. =P Had breakfast, then head off to the pool for a quick swim. Boy, the water was freezing.....Had a round on the water slide, frock around a lil and decided how boring it was. Went to the games room after that, the had a karaoke booth, sang my heart out with a "melodious" voice. =)
The best thing was going to Extreme Park and enjoyed 8 laps on the go-kart. Bam! Go-kart rocks. When night fell, we wandered around the resort waiting for New Year's countdown.....got esctasized. Boom!

Im dreadfully sorry for the lousy blogging nowadays, its not that im losing the touch, i've seen interesting things when i step out but unfortunately i dont have a digital cam with me now.Dont bother asking what happened to it, too tragic....


"Modern Techs have come up with scar removers, what about those for the soul?"-Anon

Agree-able. But you see, humans are so capable of doing things...we flew to the moon, peaked the highest spot on Earth, built enormous skyscrapers that literally scratched the skies and the list goes on. About healing that wound in the soul, its all personal, you can do it if you want to.

Having to go through the stay-at-home-everyday holidays, it really opened my eyes to how people act and react. My family for ex, i was seeing them everyday, but im not looking close enough. Use your 5 senses intelligently and gradually you'll discover how life works. New Year's Eve was great. Sometimes i do hate going through the thick and thin yearning for something so mirage, and just ending up with disappointment when i've the people who stood where they are right now, arms wide open.

Anyway,

New Year Resolutions
1) Blissfully studying in upper secondary without too much stress and without too many F's =/
2)Learn about acceptance in every character.

and most importantly,

3)Appreciating.

My resolutions are not long, i dont want it to be! Appreciating has been on the list for a few years, there are improvements but its not achieved. No. 2 and No.3 are tough ones.


Its already 2007 and im no gypsy nor seer. Time passes at the speed of light these days and although i yearn to know what life's got planned, i hope things will turn out fine,nothing drastic. In a few years, ill be leaving secondary and who knows what i'll turn into. One of the things i need to appreciate much, is "everyday".

There Aint No White Flag

I got it, the big 7.

It wasnt as freaky as i imagined,probably because Mum sms-ed the results.

It was kinda lack-lustre, seeing classmates with their wide "Darlie/Colgate" smiles and seemingly reachin' for the stars jumps. It was alienating.Awkward!

I really wanted to join in the parade, but i wasnt feelin esctasized. Oh well, its worth some nicely carved curves on the lips, probably earn me a new hp too.*crosses fingers*

There was a celebration gathering at OU after the adrenaline jerking experience. Not much drama.No toasts,no cheers,no "yumsehs". Even worse than an ordinary outing. The only thing that was worth mentioning was me winning the pool game againts Zhao which Zoe claimed to be purely out of plain luck.

Mike, thats an insult!

Im reading "If You Could See Me Now" by Cecilia Ahern. Great book.Creative!Imaginative piece of work!

The holidays are fast leaving me behind, or is it im proceding. Not really sure if im ready to take on upper secondary,f*** add maths. Premonition, stress hormones are definitely emanating from me next year.But I'll try to keep it at a distance. No more banging heads onto walls, literally.

I've got lots to say, but i dont know how to put in into words. Basically, im just looking for something, easier to put it that way.

This getting over stage is bloody fucking tough.


leginhet

I Wouldnt Name it Doomsday, There are Better Names for Commemoration

Well, it seemed forever before today arrived.

My feelings cant be put into words now. Im not exactly afraid of whats coming, eager i might add. There arent any butterflies flying in my stomach, if there are any, there're really gentle creatures.

Zhao claimed she's already having naughty aggressive butterflies in her tummy.Guess what was my suggestion?

I suggested that she took insecticide. No, im not a sadist,im being a caring friend actually. You see, if you take a dose of that miraculous thing, you kill those butterflies and you wont have to face tomorrow. Now where on this beautiful third rock from the sun can you find such a pal?

But i got mocked by her after that.....wonder why?

Anyway, back to the drama.I hope this battle would end up with my victory...i seriously do.I dare say much effort has been put into, never before i was stressed up to the limits. Im guessing what'll happen when im taking SPM.........ill save my creative imaginations for something better. Too intimidating to even think about.

Went out to the night market today. Being a Malaysian Malaysian, i do have the tendency to lean to the "dark" side. Well, piracy aint no big deal. Petaling Street boosted the country's economy big time. Anyway, while i was being Malaysian, the authorities came strollin' along in their blue truck.It was disastrous, and a real shocker. I stoned there, not knowing what to do. I dont have to run do i? I didnt own that cd yet, not payments! Im therefore not guilty. The rest of the details are to remain purely confidential.You never know if some internal security agent comes nosy-ing around my blog. The Internet is getting vulnerable by the day and you know bloggers are watched nowadays. Talk about freedom of speech and privacy. Tell ya what, if you fear of getting bad mouthed, it only proves one damned thing. You've a skeleton in the closet.

Well, if much effort has been put into for this "war", i guess its only luck and religion that i can rely on for now. Maybe some storm or a tsunami will crush my enemy's battleship. Who are my enemies anyway? =)

Wish myself the best.

lotsa love emanating,
leginhet

A epic post from a story-less me.

Well, went out with the old bunch today.

It was fun, frankly speaking....it oozes more satisfaction compared to the previous class party. Its not the quantity, its the quality. =)

Watched Eragon, mediocre.....aint award winning material but still watch-able.

Indulged myself in a glass of Escapade at Yippee Cup. Damn its good. =D

For the past uneventful days, it occured to me that humans really do have the freedom of speech.

And they present it in various versatile ways, eg a tee-shirt.

it says, "i was voted most flexible by your boyfriend".

It's winter now right? My humour is becoming cold.

I was watchin' Nigella Bites the other day, she was cooking, obviously..

She took some onions, man they were huge,and juicy.

Out of the blues, i just said, "Wow,her onions sure are big and juicy,"

Then i realised there was some glitch in that sentence.

Hmm?!?!

Is it me or what?

Im addicted to Hurt by Christina Aguilera at the moment.Those power-belting vocals sure are tear jerking.

Since my holidays are fast coming to an end, i think its time to look back at what i did for the past few weeks.

Hmm.......

Basically, nothing. But life is somehow at a sharp turning point now. This holiday aint that bad, ive learned a few things, viewed things from a diff angle, take things slightly lighter....here and there.

It has also occured to me that im a strong believer in karma. What goes around comes around. Im thankful for it, i aint sceptical but believing in karma did helped me to live my life in the way i want it to be. Well, im just me.

Ok, till then,
lotsa love,
leginhet

If it Aint A Crumbling Spine

Im BACK

Nah,not from London or Italy.

From my hometown.

Nth much happened, there were things, i just dont think the factors now doesnt promote much storytelling.

Namely, my crumbling spine and backbone due to lack of very bad sleep.

Been through a great amount of stress lately.

Nth t0 blog abt right now.

Goin to Sunway.

So till then,

lots of love,
leginhet =D


The greatest happiness one can achieve is knowing that he does not require happiness-leginhet.

...

To Make Her Love Me-Rascal Flatts

When It All Falls Apart-The Veronicas

Hati ini telah Dilukai-Kris Dayanti

Why Does it Hurt So Bad-Whitney Houston

Tonight I Wanna Cry-Keith Urban

What Hurts The Most-Rascal Flatts

How Far-Martina Mcbride

Berhenti Berharap-Sheila on 7

Time after Time-Jewel

Im OK-McFly

Whatever Will Be-Vanessa Hudgens

My Heart Still Beats-Beyonce Knowles

Im Moving On-Rascal Flatts

God Blessed The Broken Road-Rascal Flatts

=D-Leginhet

Quoting for Dummies

Hey, its been long since ive been here. There's nth much to talk bout lately. Since Amanda asked for updates, and im in the mood.....so ill blog.

Quote 1
I love to be loved
Every single breathing organism does, animal,human, hunk,chick,with same sex,with diff sex.....we all do like that feeling of being loved. It carves that cheeky smile on our lips knowing im actually loveable. Its a great form of flattery and excellent self esteem booster. Don't confuse fantasy with reality though.

Quote 2
Dont Be Stupid its Painful
My guess, love? Or somewhere between love and infatuation. You see, as humans sometimes we know things start with goodbye(learn to love this word).And they do.We know that things dont turn out as expected and things dont go the way we want it to be, especially in the game of love. Yet!Yet!We chose to stroll down that path. My ans for going this way is, LOVE.That strong magnetic feeling. But im not contented with this ans. Love is much stronger,this thing isnt that powerful, but this weird thing is stronger than infatuation. Its somewhere between. Its gonna take a while before i get the right word for it. Suggestions?

P/s: Love has its stages. In high school, i call it woofwoof love. Haha, but a maybe a few do end up childhood sweethearts. Lucky b*****ds.

Quote 3
But But
And here we go, back to square one. The "buts" and "ifs" thing. Its part of life. IF i had Bill Gates's fortune. BUT it shouldnt go this way. Live with them, they're the chemical X that makes up your life.Good or bad, you dont have much choice other than face it, right?

Quote 4
Love will get us past the customs
Im really the old school guy. True love conquers it all. Even if it means getting you past the customs =D. Oxford's definition of love is too general. Everyone has a diff definition of it. And if you want to find true love, live up to your definition, dont wander around searching for treasure when your dream is only a penny. True love is hard to find, but not impossible =D. Kudos to those who found em.

Quote 5
You can learn from hard knocks, you can also learn from soft touches
Of course, hard knocks are hurtful lessons but what's important is they actually leave an IMPACT. Soft touches are the kind that teaches you something tenderly. An addition, if you knew you would lie too if you're in his place, it made it sound like you do understand the situation and that makes the average percentage of anger drop dead to 0.01%? Guys are born liars, its what we do. Sometimes we lie to escape from hurting a person and sometimes for a good laugh. Im not encouraging lies but every now and then we have to AND we all do. Love itself is a lie, love is an illusion of the heart. Illusions are lies, beautiful lies.

Sorry for replying quotes, nth else to blog abt.

Till then,

“Lyrics written based on everyday stories, tune form from the voices around you, instruments played by your own actions, thats your heartsong-leginhet”

Sorry

Haha, ter-pressed the "enter" buttton. So this is the rest of the post. Actually im ending the post.......having a migraine.........so thats it. Till then.


"Dont be surprised if you see platinum cardholders with a number of girls, being loved is a priviledge-leginhet"