Have A Little Faith

Personally, I always wondered about authors and celebrities who loudly declared there was no God. It was usually when they were healthy and popular and being listened to by crowds. What happens, I wondered, in the quiet moments before death? By then, they have lost the stage, the world moved on. If suddenly, in their last gasping moments, through fear, a vision, a late enlightenment, they changed their minds about God, who would know?



Most religions warn against war, yet more wars have been fought over religion then perhaps anything else. Christians have killed Jews, Jews have killed Muslims, Muslims have killed Hindus, Hindus have killed Buddhists, Catholics have killed Protestants, Orthodox have killed pagans, and you could run that list backward and sideways and it would still be true. War never stops; it only pauses.

I asked the Reb if, over the years, he had changed his view on war and violence.
"Do you remember Sodom and Gomorrah?" he asked.
" So you know Abraham realized those people were bad. He knew they were miserable, vicious. But what else does he do? He argues with God against destroying the cities. He says, Can you at least spare them if there are fifty good people there? God says okay. Then he goes down to forty, then thirty. He knows there aren't that many. He bargains all the way down to ten before he closes the deal."
And they still fell short, I said.
"And they still fell short, " the Reb confirmed. "But you see? Abraham's instincts were correct. You must first argue against warfare, against violence and destruction, because these are not normal ways of living."

But so many people wage wars in God's name.
"Mitch, " the Reb said, "God does not want such killing to go on."
Then why hasn't it stopped?
He lifted his eyebrows.
"Because man does."


I flipped through the pages and out fell three small black-and-white photos, faded and smudged with dirt. One was of an older dark-haired woman, Arabic and matronly looking. One was of a moustached younger Arabic man in a suit and tie. The last photo was of two children, side by side, presumably a brother and sister.
Who are they, I asked.
"I don't know," he said, softly.
He held out his hand and I gave him the photo of the children.
"Over the years, I kept seeing these kids, the mother, her son. That's why I never threw the book away. I felt I had to keep them alive somehow. "I thought maybe someday someone would look at the pictures, say they knew the family, and return them to the survivors. But I'm running out of time."
He handed me the photo back.
Wait, I said. I don't understand. From your religious viewpoint, these people were the enemy.
His voice grew angry.
"Enemy schemenemy." he said. "This was a family."



Soon we tumbled into the most fundamental debate. How can different religions coexist? If one faith believes one thing, and another believe something else, how can they both be correct? And does one religion have the right-or even the obligation-to try and convert the other?

Is there any winning a religious argument? Whose God is better than whose? Who got the Bible right or wrong? I preferred figures like Rajchandra, the Indian poet who influenced Gandhi by teaching that no religion was superior because they brought all people closer to God; or Gandhi himself, who would break fast with Hindu prayers, Muslim quotations, or a Christian hymn.

"Ask yourself, 'Why did God create but one man?' " the Reb said, wagging a finger. "Why if he meant for there to be faiths bickering with each other, didn't he create that from the start? He created trees, right? Not one tree, countless trees. Why not the same with man?

"Because we are all from that one man-and all from that one God. That's the message."
Then why, I asked, is the world so fractured?
"Well, you can look at it this way. Would you want the world to all look alike? No. The genius of life is its variety.

"Even in our own faith, we have questions and answers, interpretations, debates. In Christianity, in Catholicism, in other faiths, the same thing-debates, interpretations. That is the beauty. It's like being a musician. If you found the note, and you keep hitting the note all the time, you would go nuts. It's the blending of the different notes that makes the music."

The music of what?

"Of believing in something bigger than yourself."
But what if other faith won't recognise yours? Or wants you dead for it?

"That is not faith. That is hate." He sighed. "And if you ask me, God sits up there and cries when this happens."

How can you-a cleric- be so open minded? I asked.

"Look. I know what I believe. It's in my soul. But I constantly tell our people: you should be convinced of the authenticity of what you have, but you must also be humble enough to say that we don't know everything. And since we don't know everything, we must accept that another person may belief something else."

He sighed.
"I am not being original here, Mitch. Most religions teach us to love our neighbour."
I thought about how much I admired him at that moment. How he never, even in private, even in old age, tried to bully another belief, or bad-mouth someone else's devotion. And I realized I should've been more proud, less intimidated. I shouldn't have bitten my tongue. If the only thing wrong with Moses is that he's not yours; if the only thing wrong with Jesus is that he's not yours; if the only thing wrong with mosques, Lent, chanting, Mecca, Buddha, confession, or reincarnation is that they're not yours-well, maybe the problem is you.



What if you get only five minutes with God?
"Five minutes?" he said.
Five minutes, I said. God is a busy God. Here's your slice of heaven. Five minutes alone with the Lord and then, poof, on you go to whatever happens next.
"And in those five minutes?" he asked, intrigued.
In those five minutes, you can ask anything you want.
"Ah.Okay."

"First, I would say, 'Do me a favour, God in heaven, if you can, members of my family who need help, please show them the way on earth. Guide them a little."
Okay, that's a minute.
"The next three minutes, I'd say, 'Lord, give these to someone who is suffering and requires your love and counsel."
You'd give up three minutes?
"If someone truly needs it, yes."
Okay, I said. That still leaves you a minute.

"All right. In that final minute, I would say, 'Look, Lord, I've done X amount of good stuff on earth. I've tried to follow your teachings and to pass them on. I have loved my family. I've been part of a community. And I have been, I think, fairly good to people.
"So, Heavenly Father, for all this, what is my reward?"

And what do you think God will say?
He smiled.
"He'll say, 'Reward? What reward? That's what you were supposed to do!"
I laughed and he laughed, and he bounced his palms on his thighs and our noise filled the house. And I think, at that moment, we could have been anywhere, anybody, any culture, any faith- a teacher and a student exploring what life is all about and delighting in the discovery.

In the beginning, there was a question. In the end, the question gets answered. God sings, we hum along, and there are many melodies, but it's all one song-one same, wonderful human song.

I am in love with hope.


Have A Little Faith- Mitch Albom

Hellooo Again!

Tidbits: To know the height of a blog's fame, one must examine the cbox. If there is spam, you're famous!

I know I've been MIA for quite some time. I think people could use a break from me. I could use a break from myself =/

I am doing this just to convince myself that I've not abandoned my blog. Apparently, posting this makes not much of a difference.

I'm lost for words. The writer has a mental block.

So, ciao!

=O

Crime Does Pay...in Texas.

Tidbits: Just when I thought my blogging mojo is gone, I stumbled upon a rather blog-worthy article. Such is life, isn't it? Always surprising.


As time passes, old things are generally replaced by the new. Nothing goes unescaped-even wise sayings like "Crime Does Not Pay." Because NOW, it actually does..and pays pretty well too. How well? Hmm, a million USD seems to be well enough for the average Tom, Dick, Harry and Nigel.


Okay, fine! Crime does not pay at all, at least not if you really rape someone, kill a baby or rob an old lady. But what if you were falsely accused of something you did not commit? There will be two possible scenarios.


#1 : You get the death sentence and can forget about making millions.
#2 : You go behind bars and pray for a long long long long sentence and a longer life.


"Exonerees will get $80,000 for each year they spent behind bars. The compensation also includes lifetime annuity payments that for most of the wrongly convicted are worth between $40,000 and $50,000 a year — making it by far the nation's most generous package."


In case you don't know what exonerees are, they are people who are exonerated. Make sense, no?
Okay, in other words, these people are those who are cleared from accusations and blame.


"Besides the lump sum and the monthly annuity payments, the bill includes 120 hours of paid tuition at a public college. It also gives exonerees an additional $25,000 for each year they spent on parole or as registered sex offenders."


No better and easier way to pay for college, eh?


In a way, I think we should count our blessings that cases like these only happen in the U.S. Imagine having such a system in Malaysia. People would be lining up to be sued for all the snatch theft cases on the street I tell you. You think they wouldn't?


Hey, the people we are talking about are people who take 100 pencils at Ikea when there's a humble note saying "Save the environment and PLEASE TAKE ONE ONLY." Oh yes, and not to mention buying a large cup of Coke from McDonalds', share among five and then get countless refills.


Sometimes I am impressed by the economical ways in which we live. Maybe this is why we are rather recession-proof compared to many other countries.







Now, to Google 'Unsolved Crimes in Texas' and make a choice. What do you think? Rape, murder, robbery or money laundering?


I'm on my way to making my millions.


Disclaimer: The blogger shall not be held responsible for the significant increase of crime rates.

And Then It's Down to One

Tidbits: I still cannot believe I'm hooked onto Barn Buddy and Happy Farm. It's such a kiddy thing. It's childish and inanimate. It's so...me.


As I'm standing here looking down the final phase of the journey of my college education, I cannot help but steal occasional (okay, maybe frequent) looks at what was behind me. Everytime I do that, I see something to be treasured. Something that gives me fulfillment. Something you call....HOLIDAYS. Sob sob.

Okay, life has to go on.


Hewood. Hewood. Hewood.


Ignore that.


I've got nothing interesting to write about. Politics bore me to the bones these days. I don't know wtf is wrong with MCA but there's something wrong. Well, wasn't there always a problem?


I'm taking Economics this semester. I hope it would not be that much of a problem, but it's quite terrifying when your lecturer says that the subject is an unemotional one. Never mind that, economists aren't very human anyway. Psychology should be interesting, it's more...emotional.


I've got nothing else to say, and kicking myself in the butt for it. What happened to my mojo, I dunno.

Oh Yeah, Baby!

I'm off to find a nice bitch beach!

Ciao bella!

Am Lovin' It.

Tidbits: Life in a nutshell: We all start and end in diapers. True, no? I'm speaking ideally, forget reality. Don't burst by bubble. Thank you.






My second semester had finally ended and I would be more than thankful not to be questioned about my performance. Not that I did badly-I just think I deserve to enjoy my break without much unwanted thoughts. Live now and worry later or die worrying. Peace.








My entries are getting less specific. It's no longer narrowed down into something particular or precise. Just how? Well, I think I now talk truckloads of bullshit to generate enough biomass energy to power a continent. Such exaggeration. For example, I've always wanted to say this....

Our new fifty ringgit note reminds me a lot of the Hell Bank Note.

Is hell really the direction our country is heading towards?

No! Not yet! Not before I get to savour Penang's Duck Egg Char Kuey Teow. Yes, food is probably the only reason why I love my country. Kidding.

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Trends, as you know, can get more quirky and weird than Marilyn Manson and Perez Hilton combined. The men corsets by Gaultier is just off the hook and Prada's thigh-high boots are cool, but probably only Lady Gaga can pull it off. That aside. Now, theoretically speaking, potbellies are the hottest thing in town (well, in Brooklyn at least.) I think metrosexuals can all choose to die now. At least they die beautifully. Just imagine having a belly that could give pregnant ladies a run for their money on the runways next season. After that all the males in the world would start emulating the trend and ditch the gym for McDonalds.

Well, that would never happen anyway. Unless Giorgio Armani had nervous breakdown and cast these Brooklyn men for his shows. I wouldn't mind it though. It's about time the muscle man trend come to an end.

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G.I. Joe was a pretty entertaining movie to watch. Totally worth the 11 bucks spent (But, Cathay I still want to know why I didn't get the 6 bucks early bird price even when I watched the morning show.) It's a guy's kind of movie. With the piu piu piu bang bang bang boom boom boom. With this movie, Transformers can go to hell with our country. Political satire, failed.

Okay, doing this entry just wasted an hour of my life. I think this post really matches my title. Whimsical, Risque and Enfant Terrible. So childish. I like. Whee! I sound like Anabel now.

Oh Yes. Yes.

Tidbits: Three exams in a day. What could be worse? Now don't you dare tell me four.

Aficionado of Life lasted barely two weeks. Guess I wasn't that much of a fan.


Well, the new one sounds more creative, doesn't it? So obnoxious. Haha, like my alter ego. Also, like the world we are in.


As the saying goes, some people just never grow up. *cough* Politicians *cough*


Life is just more colourful when we look at it the kids' way. Yeah, life in technicolour. Never let the kid in you die. Ah yes, 18 forever. (Right, Wordsworthfan?)


*In the kiddiest tone ever*

Oh God, I don't wish for many things this Xmas coming Hungry Ghost Festival (Sorry, it's the closest festival I could think of besides Independence Day)

I just want to be happy. Hahaha.

and

don't let CTS drive me nuts.

That's all.

Relapse

Tidbits: Life is a series of pulls back and forth


There's a known sense of familiarity living the moment.
This feeling.
Foreign, but familiar.


Could it be a relapse?
A repeat worthy of the devil's sneer.
When you fall prey into the envious fire burning within.
Seize, see and feel.
How grief is masked by illiterate temptations.
Stop and stare.
See the dainty choice to free thyself from mindless exploit.
The fulmination of repute.

Stop. Stop.


Thou shalt not waltz the circular dance of emotions once again.
Release. Not rewind.

Yet I'm only human.

Racing Till The End of the Tunnel

Tidbits: Gossiping is like building castles in the air. Silly, has no basis yet people enjoy it because everyone wants to live in a castle in the air. Talk about fairytales.





I think I'm in my I-Need-to-Go-to-Prague mood again. There are lots of things to think about (or at least I make myself think about) that I have this little wish to be Dr. Frankenstein's next experiment. Here, take my brains!





But it's really kind of ironic. If you've noticed the change in my blog's title, it's no longer "Self Service". Yes, The Aficionado of Life- passion, energy, positivity and everything good in life. Haha, this sounds like some concoction to make the Powerpuff Girls. Yes, and I shall not allow myself to be shifted to the dark side. Life is good. Now, can I have my brains back?

Such invasion of privacy.

Anyway, aficionado(uh-fish-yuh-nah-doh) is Spanish. Why aficionado? Because French is over rated. I mean 'enthousiaste' looks like the spelling of a person who didn't even make it through pre-school, or some reject from 'Are You Smarter than a 5th Grader?'

_______________________________________________________

I don't think I'll be updating much until my final exam ends. Nothing much to talk about anyway. The death of the Teoh dude doesn't entice me to write anything at all. After Altantuya, are there even any elements of surprise left? Tsk, political play. What goes behind closed doors? Nobody really knows. Though I always had the impression that skeletons were behind closed doors. Hehehe.

Oh yes! Primary school libraries have really lousy book filtering systems. My 9 year old brother borrowed some book with the title,

"PANDUAN BERCINTA & BERDATING"

Yes, you can go wtf now. What could be worse? Ah, nothing much...except that the whole book uses darn Rempit language.



And here we are trying to reduce teenage pregnancies.

Reptile Mania and its Maniacs

Tidbits: Sometimes life can become too much too handle. My current philosophy in life- laugh it all away. Simple really, once you get past the part that prevents you from actually doing it.




Fashion is love. Admit it, what was once a female dominion has beCUM (yes, I just have to) a universal appeal. Fashion today stretches out to an entirely new level which encompasses the females, males and inthemiddles.



Psychology might come first as a day job, but the passion for fashion makes me want to take on a night freelance job. Fashion photography to be precise.

What do you see here?

I see a story.

Probably the only reason I could talk myself into getting an SLR that had caused me to cremate my wallet and puncture my bank account is simply passion. The influence of good photographs is beyond imagination. A simple photo can evoke a unique emotion; the exact one that prompted you to take the photo in the first place, and that emotion equates satisfaction. The bottom line is- photos have the ability to bring you back to a certain place and time that brings meaning in life. It's a time machine that tells a beautiful story to you by simply looking at it.



I'm still learning.




Anyway, all that talk is besides the point. The purpose of typing at this hour of the night is just to voice out my personal(keyword) opinion against.......

Yes. This thingamajingy.

Forget that people actually pay huge amounts for these babies. That's not the point. It's not even chic to start with. It only proves that people are excellent preys of the excellent American marketing predators since it only takes one idiot less-bright person to wear it and the whole world has rubber crocodiles on their feet. I don't mind paying if it is much much MUCH cheaper and made of leather of course. Honestly, I'd rather spend the money on a different kind of rubber. =D




So what if those holes are supposed to do something good. You never know if those factory workers go miniminimynimo whichpartshouldipokeaholein. Nevertheless, it's good to know that the company is in debt. The fashion world will say grace. Amen.


Oh yes, and do tell me the difference between the original Crocs and their cousins(presumably called Alligators) that you can get off 10bucks at the night market. Seems the same to me. Still rubber.


I don't know what I've against these things, but all I know is they don't look good. Maybe acceptable on kids, but never on adults.

Well, what can I say? Some people never grow up.

Fashion has this weird obsession for reptiles.





Take Lacoste for example. Get a plain coloured Polo and stamp a crocodile logo on it. Poof! Retails for 300 bucks.





Crazy? People even name a clothes label "Crocodile". Let's not even get to the have-to-sell-your-arms-and-legs Hermes Birkin bags. Poor crocs(as in the reptile ones, not the rubber ones. I don't feel sorry at all for what's happening to the rubber ones).






I should do something about it. Maybe it's time we market a different animal....

A monkey perhaps?

Oh no wait! Paul Frank has already done that.

Note: When you have stackloads of assignments to complete, you really turn monkey. Well, at least being monkey gives me blogging mojo.

Back to Square One

Tidbits: Okay, that's one too many Cayennes in a week. Whatever happened to economic downturn? These Cayennes are making my Ol Faithful feel so inferior.




Yes, I do realise that this blog lacks as much juice as it used to have. I think in due time I'll have to pack up and say adios. Now, readers beg me.




Anyway, I think there's a topic which serves terribly well as our food for thought this week. As everyone may have already known

Science and Mathematics is now back to Sains dan Matematik.

Some may be crying their hearts out cursing the Malaysian education system (as usual), but some may be jumping for joy that 'hypothesis' is now back to 'hipotesis' (hee-po-tee-sees). Say it with me now. The worst part of this over-stretched debate is the argument that "students will forget our national language if these subjects are taught in English". Thus, it really does make you wonder what our students are doing in school. There's such a subject called "Bahasa Malaysia" being taught back in the robot-manufacturing plant we call government schools right? Well, we shall just sit back and watch how our future students get laughed at by the British people when our students mention 'hipotesis' (hee-po-tee-sees). Say it with me again!!

On an entirely unrelated note, the word 'cum' is completely logical and does not harbour any other dirtier different meaning.

\ˈku̇m, ˈkəm\
Function:
conjunction
Etymology:
Latin, with; akin to Latin com- — more at co-
Date:
circa 1869
: along with being : and —used to form usually hyphenated phrases

Don't ask me why I bother defining it. You should see the expression on peoples' faces when they read the word. Worse than winning ToTo.

And this is basically what I've been doing with my life- murdering aristocrats.

Laugh should you get my point. =)

Don't ask. Seriously. I'm that miserable.

Sometimes I think I should just leave all this insanity and go sweep the streets in Prague. At least it's more beautiful there and I'll be hopefully happier. Ah, the ideosyncrasy of life.

The Moving Train Never Stops

Tidbits: Four celebrities gone in a day. The King of Pop, a former Charlie's Angel, a veteran HK actor and an unknown Korean. Talk about bad luck.

Death is and has always been a difficult topic for many of us to bring to voice. There's a certain awkwardness that arises everytime we speak of death probably because it is universal, and each one of us read our lives into death. Everyone relates to death in one way or another; the loss of a loved one, a friend or even someone we do not know personally. Death seems like the ultimate thief; it takes away those whom we all treasure, and it leaves us in the utmost despair of helplessness. To understand death, we have to understand life. Life is very much like a moving train- its fuel the breath you take, and each one of our trains lead different tracks and stop at different stations. A good piece of advice; nothing is permanent. Every vehicle will run out of fuel and shall find reach its final station.

Death takes many different images in our lives, but how we look at it never changes. We all succumb to the same thought- "What would've or could've been?". Because death does not have a scent, nor does it take sight, it strikes in the most unlikely hour and takes us by surprise. Death forces us to not just see things, but to look at them, to look at them closely. The things we will overlook if death does not come to our doorstep. The question we all need an answer to; must we learn to look only when something as big as death is posed right in front of our eyes? Funny how everything else that we've worked for seem insignificant when death proceeds. Love, money, fame and almost everything does not measure up by then. The most cruel thing death does to a person is robbing everything away from him but leaving the stories behind. Stories that must be continued, only in a non-verbal manner. These stories are how we all find ourselves in the same place and asking the same question "What would or could've been?". When the main character of the story is gone, we read it and realise the gaps that weren't filled with elements that would've made it a fairytale. Truth is, death isn't the end of the story. Death is a beginning of a whole new chapter in the same story, we just find ourselves unable to move on. Most beginnings are simple, only this time we're forced to start on a different note. We've all questioned ourselves about life after death has happened. The chapters that follow death, a blissful read or not, depends on how we look at the death chapter.

Each chapter is a parable that is authored by experiences and emotions. Death is the experience of being in the dark and the emotion of being afraid. It has such a strong influence to keep us in the dark. To see the light again, it takes courage to step out of the darkness and most importantly the courage to believe again. There is a need to know that death takes so many things away, but it doesn't take away hope. It dampens hope; it doesn't kill hope. To hope again is hard, but not impossible because hope is what we all have since the beginning. If one is able to do this, he'll see himself in a whole new light. The changes that were brought upon by death are blessings in disguise. The whole point is not about death; it's about life. Ultimately, life is the main idea, and death being a small segment of it. To live is one of the rarest things in the world; most of us exist, that is all. As said, your life is a moving train. Don't let it wander aimlessly or merely exist. Steer it well to the final station. Realise and live.

"So many people walk around with a meaningless life. They seem half-asleep, even when they're busy doing things they think are important. This is because they're chasing the wrong things. The way you get meaning into your life is to devote yourself to loving others, devote yourself to your community around you, and devote yourself to creating something that gives you purpose and meaning."

"When you learn how to die, you learn how to live."

"Don't let go too soon but, but don't hang on too long."

- Morrie Schwartz

Rumble and Tumble.

Tidbits: Currently in front of the laptop with my Critical Thinking Skills textbook beside me. No prizes for guessing which one I chose. What a no-brainer.


Never mind, I shall do my revision here.
I present to you,

The Strategies for Avoiding Fallacies!

In case you don't know, fallacies are arguments that appear right at first but upon a deeper look, it is not. (i remembered! so proud of myself)

Strategy #1 : Know Yourself
Knowing yourself allows you to identify which fallacy you're most likely to fall for and makes it easier to avoid it. For example, Nigel knows he is so verbal-linguistically intelligent he commits the fallacy of Begging the Question. In layman's term- beating around the bush. Therefore, from now onwards I will just call you stupid when I think you are instead of going in circles (I wonder how many marks I'll get if I use this example in my exam). Besides, I think the 'in your face' thing is getting hip. Everything's directed right at ya.

Strategy#2 : Build Your Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem
Having a high self-esteem will definitely help you to avoid the Popular Appeal Fallacy. Example, everyone thinks Megan Fox is hot and forms a cult worshipping her. The moment someone says she's actually a man, everyone goes eeewww. Conformity at its best.

Strategy#3 : Cultivate Good Listening Skills
Having good listening skills allow you to be respectful of other people's views and identify fallacies when there is a conflict in opinions. Well, the listening skill is something I pride myself upon. Those bunch of monkey librarians in SMKDJ are hopefully taking heed of my advice.

Strategy #4 : Avoid ambiguous and vague terms and faulty grammar
Cultivate good communication and writing skills. Don't be afraid to ask questions if you are unclear (something that is definitely rare for Msian students)

Strategy 4.1.1 : Go to Facebook and continue later....
There are a few more, and I'm rather lazy uninspired to continue. Actually, I wanted to prove that even with technology, one is able to concentrate and not get distracted, and it can also be used as an 'effective' method for more interactive learning. Well.............halfway there. =)
I think I have a lovehate relationship with Mark Zuckerberg.

It's a Bird; It's a Plane!

Tidbits: My hair is getting mixed reviews from 'critics'. Oh well, I'm my own's best critic.

No, it's a Mat Rempit!

Now, as if our nation hasn't had its fair share of absurdities, the state government of Malacca is lifting the Mat Rempit name to new heights. Literally and figuratively. Well honestly, the constant terror on the roads are bad enough, let alone the skies. Leave those poor birds alone!

Certainly, there are other feasible alternatives to combat this whole Mat Rempit issue that has been quite sickening to the eyes (and ears) for all these times. Really. The sight of these bunch on micro-light aircrafts which costs a bloody RM6000 for a licence is probably a sign that we are truly heading towards Apocalypse.

The Government should really turn to psychologists to come up with interventions that are pretty damn well more logical than letting them off into the skies. What happened to old school community service? Sounds ideal, but impractical. Heck, it's still better than not ideal and impractical.

Never mind, don't mind me. I don't like where I'm going with this either. I'm just feeling for the birds.

Just a Quickie

Tidbits: I'm in college doing the 'Sure Way to Get Fat' Program. Simple, sit in front of the computer and eat sugar crackers. Period.

Anabel got me addicted to these lovely sugar crackers by Cap Ping Pong( say what?). I've already eaten X number of crackers after a sinful meal of Murtabak at the mamak. Tsk. Terrible.

Anyway, I just happen to come across an article the other day I thought most of us would be able to relate to. It's about Facebook, and those who aren't using Facebook just go to Batu Caves and rot there. Haha, what a mean thing to say. Facebook isn't everything under the sun, who cares if you don't have a Facebook account? *minimises window and off to spam comments*

Okay, back. Remember there was once our newspapers/radios/internet/Facebook talked about 'The Best Job in the World'? Yeah, the one where you work on some resort island in Aussieland and get paid quite a sum. Oh, and apparently the job went to some Brit fella who happened to be a volunteer. See, being nice does pay, and pays well.

Man, I should stop beating around the bush. My point is...the best job in the world isn't the job mentioned above. The article I read talked about the maintenance people working at Facebook, and it seems that one of the job scope is to filter obscenity. I'm pretty sure you're getting my point, in the context of the best job in the world.

Apparently, Facebook has some rules like The Nipple Rule and The Fully-Exposed-Butt Rule or something to that. I kid you not. I'm sure you've done one of those 'How horny are you?', 'How good are you in bed?' and 'What sexual position are you?' quizzes. Seen the pictures that came along with them? Yeah. Back to the story, these people actually receive pictures daily and decide its appropriety with reference to the rules. So, basically they just sit in front of the screen and click click. Allow or disallow.


How is it the best job in the world? Hey, how many people actually get paid watching 'encouraging' pictures? There has never been a job so pleasurable. Look, it's way better than an accountant looking at figures okay, and by figures I mean numbers...not the other figures. =)

Done. Back to assignments.

People of the World.....

Tidbits: Sometimes I should just speak and think later.




Let's cry!



I didn't know I was so *cough* influential *cough* that my fantamazing post about the theme park made the world realised how horny we can be.






Sad to say, it's a big dream that'll always remain a dream. According to officials, the park had 'evil influence' on society. I'd say more like physical influence on the anatomy. Geddit? =)





Some people expressed disappointment though. Hmm, define 'some' people. Anyway, I think this whole idea is bullshit from the start, call me old school, but hey, there are other ways that you can hold a sexfest mardi gras.

"The park was above board, so why was it pulled down? How can a country get powerful if it doesn't open its mind?" one person was quoted as saying in the newspaper.

Oh, give me a break. This picture seems to say otherwise. It's opening everything and anything but the mind.

Someone please translate those words for me. Don't answer in the cbox though, my guess is it's going to turn out like ****.

What Irony!

Tidbits: Sometimes politics can become more corrupted than your computer getting infected by the Conficker worm 3184347573298 times. Only then, our leaders are willing to put aside all ego and talk. Isn't it about time?

Having one of the Seven Wonders of the World aside, China is in a state where it has to kick itself in the butt. Maybe its one billion population should do it. We know well enough how conservative Asians, or more specifically the Chinese are. Sex is still very much a taboo topic to be discussed among us, culturally speaking. I mean, many of us take sex as more of a visual topic(if you get what I mean) than a biological one. Don't we all like learning how the sperm gets to the ovum by looking how it's done rather than listening to your Biology teacher who censors more than Malaysian film authorities?


I remember once China made an earth shattering hype about the impropreity of the screening of movies such as 'Lust, Caution' and 'Brokeback Mountain'. Nonetheless, these people prove that exceptions can be made when you have a chance to indulge in something, even if it's almost morally incorrect.


Forget the American Dream! Here's the Chinese Dream- to open a sex theme park! What'd you find there? Hmm, let's see...naked human sculptures(are they trying to go French or Italian now?), giant genitals that will definitely be of good use to Bio students who are struggling to identify the parts of the reproductive system. Cmon, you can't miss the penis if it's that size! Moving on, my personal favourite as it is the most absurd, a sex technique workshop. My guess? It's basically watching the Kama Sutra instead of reading it(Can it even be read?). Workshops usually have demonstrations, don't they?


So, Durex won't have to conduct yearly surveys about the sex lives of Asians anymore. Those busy stressed Chinese businessmen are left without reason not to enjoy their sex lives. Big irony? Nah, big dreams!


Now, can someone buy me an air ticket to China? =)

Tidbits: Come rain, come shine, come what may. For I know the truth will unearth one fine day.

GLAD that I live am I;
That the sky is blue;
Glad for the country lanes,
And the fall of dew.

After the sun the rain;
After the rain the sun;
This is the way of life,
Till the work be done.

All that we need to do,
Be we low or high,
Is to see that we grow
Nearer the sky.

Lizette Woodworth Reese

New Beginnings

Tidbits: Sometimes beginnings feel just like history repeating itself. I shall weave my own story for I hate repetition.

Haven't you questioned yourself for the gazillionth time why good things always come to an end? Or why good times pass in the blink of an eye? Bloody hell, HELP should give me another two-week break to procrastinate.On the contrary, if college hadn't start, I would've missed one of the most interesting lectures- Critical Thinking Skills which I happen to enjoy thus far.

So the interesting part goes like this....

"All men watch porn."

"Fact or opinion?"

What's more interesting was that when everyone moved on....

The uber cool lecturer asked a classmate to introduce himself and say something interesting. Out of the blue, she asked whether he watches porn. Didn't know you can tell a porn watcher from his face.

What's more more interesting was.....

His girlfriend was sitting right beside him. No prizes for guessing what he answered. Men will always be men. Enough said.

What's more more more interesting was

that it turned into a battle of the sexes.

"Women are lousy drivers."

"Fact or opinion?"

Needless to say, we all also know that women will always be women.

What's more more more more interesting was

Hartmans called Lady Gaga a bimbo. Hey, beneath the funky hairdos, quirky fashion sense and her eccentric underground black comic lyrics, you've got to give it to her. Hey, no talented people escape from the clutches of weirdness. There would be no such thing as e=mc2 if so. I'm pro-Gaga okay.

What's more more more more more interesting was

the sitting of the Perak assemblymen. Well, I wouldn't call it sitting. More of monkeying around. Oops, that should've stayed intact on my tongue, sensitive kan? Okay, just when you thought it was hard to drag a kid away from a candy store, some people really beh pai seh lorr. I'm speaking of the speaker Sivawhatshisname? Stubborn kid. Take it like a man or in this context, take it like a proud primate! Even if you were ejected, leave and make them worship the ground you paved. The sitting already dramatic enough right, might as well leave dramatically. Furthermore, don't these bunch have any new tricks up their sleeves? A battle of words is so Parliament 2008. From monyet to bodoh, we've heard it all. Move on or climb a tree. (wow, my humour is getting as dry as tree bark)

Life is very interesting after all. And it keeps getting better.

Birth Control?

Tidbits: Holidays, holidays don't go away. Fly me to Prague any day. Also, I would deeply appreciate clicks on the Nuffnang ads to help me increase the current RM0.20 in my account.


I think this constant raving about Prague is getting a little out of hand. I actually Googleed the airlines flying to Prague, turned out MAS does not fly directly to Czech Republic. Reality check. It tells me to go on dreaming.




Anyway, as the title aptly or inaptly tells you, I couldn't resist the 'temptation'. I gave in. I DID IT! Let me take you on a trip down memory lane to weave this beautiful story of my childbirth. It didn't happen too long ago, only yesterday. =)




It was a sunny afternoon of three quarters past twelve (i think). I knew that it will be a faithful day. So here are the details of my baby's birth.




Date of birth: 22 April 209
Time of birth: I don't know exactly, but she was mine at about an odd 4-5pm
Place of birth: Sungei Wang Plaza (no, she's not one bit lala. She's a beautiful baby, mind you)




Oh, is there a need to mention the labour pain. Man, now I know how my mum feels. To get a baby,ah...the pain of it all. Nonetheless, like all mothers or in this case father, it was all worthwhile. To see the delicate thing smile back at you with it's humble features in your arms. It's satisfying. You know that you did the right thing from the moment you look into its eyes and see the view of the world like an amazing piece of artwork. It tells a story, a story that you create with every depression of your fingers on its flesh. Okay, this is getting a wee bit gory and sick, so I'm going to stop here before this heartwarming story turns into a story like 'Coming Soon'. Damn.




The bottom line is it's all worth the RM XXXX of 'hospital bills'.





Want to meet my baby?




Say hi to.......

I've yet to come up with a name for her.

She's still young. In due time, I'll be shaping her body with other parts. Then it'll be world domination. Muahaahahahah!

Please don't bang your head against the wall.

I don't think I lied. Her birth details were 99.9% accurate except for the time aspect. You don't know the labour pain my wallet has to bear to pop out that much $$ from its tummy. My mum knows how it feels because mummies were always the ones who suffered the 'labour pain' since you were born. Your diapers didn't fall from the good heavens, okay. Besides, I did look into its eyes, and I saw art. Photos, to me, are art in a form of its own. Each one has a story to narrate, and it has amazing powers of warping you back into the moment you experienced the anecdote. If it can make you feel how you felt back then, it is a job well done.

Now, when I look at you, I believe in LOVE.

=)