Of Elephants and Women

The idea of this post came about after I read an article about elephants' memory.

And the first line was....

Similarity #1:Women and elephants never forget an injury.
Ah, maybe maybe. Elephants react negatively towards the sight and scent of clothing worn by members of the African Maasai tribe because Maasai men hunt elephants as a display of their masculinity. When women suffer an injury to the heart, literally, they never forget the man who broke it. Then suddenly the homo sapien tribe called men are jerks.



Similarity #2: Women and elephants are far more thoughtful mammals.
This is very true to a certain extent. Elephants follow a formalized family structure with older females called matriarchs, at the top and daughter elephants always stick close to their mothers. Male elephants leave the family at around 14 years of age or whenever they reach sexual maturity. So how many of our families have the mummys being the boss of the house? Oh, and they always say that daughters would be the ones sticking with mummy in the end even after they get married. Sons will just become slaves for their wives(wth). When we were little boys, we would go "Yay, mummy bought me a new Ultraman underwear!" and when we reach sexual maturity, mummy would have to rope us to buy an underwear.



Similarity #3: Women and elephants are very very persistent, persuasive and not to mention pushy.
Elephants are so persistent with grudges that they remember trainers or keepers who mistreated them. I'm not too sure about women with grudges. But, one thing's for sure- 5/6 people who left the "just blog laa" in my chatbox were women. Ahah, betcha didn't know you guys were test subjects. Muahahaha! For Julian.....we shall just let pass.



Similarity #4: Women and elephants have a way with their legs.
Elephants have many forms of communication to keep up with each other. One method for spatially locating other elephants is through the bundles of nerve sensors in their feet called Pacinian corpuscles. Even their toenails contain nerves that discern where sounds come from. Do we even need to mention this? Women, nail saloon and pedicures. Wannabe princesses communicate(gossip) while having their toe nails done.



Similarity #5: Elephants and women can cause rampage.
Well, we all know what happens when a herd of elephants run. Devastating, you think? Well, beware of the Malaysian Mega Sale then. Whenever you see a sign that says, "SALE. 70% off", there are two things you have to realise.
No. 1: You are no longer in a shopping complex but in the African outbacks.
No. 2: Run for cover because old women/young women/ah lians/see lais/lala muis are going to make the ground shake. Even if the Sichuan people are there, will say that they have never felt anything like it.

With that, don't you think women and elephants are just so similar? Primates may not be the only ones closest to our species. Wouldn't it be great if women have trunks? Then they can conveniently shower themselves and not snatch our bathrooms and hog them for hours. Want to know the only difference?

Oh damn I sound like a broken record but who cares....

Elephants definitely do not say "I feel fat" after pigging out. Women on the other hand.....